Jos changed her profile. I used to be THE, but now I'm just ONE OF. Anna is now THE from ONE OF. I try to help Jos...I tell her the truth. But she just gets angry at me like everyone else does. I can't help Jos. I don't want to get better, I'm sorry... Plus I haven't been raped so obviously Anna is the only one who can do anything. And I know Anna likes her better than me...by a lot. But why waste my time? After all, in the dream she was by far way more friendly to Jos than me. I know it must be a sign of how she thinks of me.

Now I feel like that I can't talk to Kelly about anything anymore. Now what? Am I surpossed to go back to when I never told anybody anything? When I waited about 10 years to tell anyone about my depression? I don't know anymore...

And-I try to help other people feel better. But, either they tell me to stop and put me first,that only they can make themselves happy, or act like it works but then turn right around.

So now I can't even do the one thing that brought me joy and they expect me to be happy? I told them..they don't know a damn thing about me but they think they know everything.

I feel a bit better now. Don't hate me.

Diary of the day: I can't think of one right now that has recently updated and deserves it.

backwards and forwards

break - Saturday, Oct. 25, 2003
More Quizzes! - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
reply - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
A Dream Within a Dream - Friday, Oct. 17, 2003
Mom doesn't know what they mean - Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003