I want to throw up all I've become.

I want to make everyone see what they've done to me.

I want to die.

Whenever Nik comes on I talk to him and I keep fearing that I'm just shooting myself in the foot. That I'm saying something wrong or making him hate me. I was telling him how I want to meet him and he just gave me reasons why I shouldn't. That it would be difficult and that it wouldn't be politically correct if I stayed at his house. I told him I don't give a damn what anybody thinks about what I do. He just said that I could get in so much trouble. In some way is he telling me that he doesn't love me anymore? I asked him if he was saying this because he didn't want to meet me. He said "no no...I just...don't want you to do anything stupid". That made me feel a little bit better. The end of the conversation was better at least...but that just made me give up the little hope I had.

I did go to a KFC protest though tonight. I'll write about it tomorrow(hopefully).

Diary of the day: xevilbunnix Kelly. Great diary and great person!

backwards and forwards

break - Saturday, Oct. 25, 2003
More Quizzes! - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
reply - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
A Dream Within a Dream - Friday, Oct. 17, 2003
Mom doesn't know what they mean - Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003