One thing that I have failed to mention in here. I wanted to keep it a secret that no one would know...but I'm going to do this. I've started to cut.

I usually do it with a razor. On my hand and arm.

I got the blast of emotion when I looked at one of my cuts today in science...I could see some sort of mini(I mean VERY small)scab like thing start to devolop. I don't know why, but that was the moment that I realized everything was the same, this is real. You have the same brain, and the thoughts that you used to think are still there. Just hidden.

I think I was trying to make my life funnier or something like the Georgia Nicolson books (I'm a dork, I know)...but it somehow took over my brain and I didn't realize what I was doing or feeling anymore. I didn't think about much that dealt with how I thought and felt...except just why was I so empty. So I tried to turn myself and my life into something it's not. ( This excludes using her[georgia nicolson] english slang and such...that doesn't have to do with it.)

My life is totally different from other people. That's what I've learned I think. That no matter how many things seem alike or you have in common, everyone's life is always different. No one goes through the EXACT same thing. We all have different reasons for things and opinions. We all decide things at different times and for different reasons. That you just have to live your life and be who you are.

Diary of the day: i-eat-stars I'm worried about her...she isn't feeling to great right now. I hope she'll be okay-and great writing!

backwards and forwards

break - Saturday, Oct. 25, 2003
More Quizzes! - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
reply - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
A Dream Within a Dream - Friday, Oct. 17, 2003
Mom doesn't know what they mean - Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003